Thousands suffer in silence from domestic violence

ID Nugroho, The Jakarta Post, Surabaya

"Maryati" tried to hide her face behind a red headscarf. The 36-year-old from Surabaya, East Java, is a victim of domestic violence.

Sitting on a wooden chair at the back of the French Cultural Center in Surabaya, she recalled how she was beaten by her husband, even when she was seven months pregnant. Her second child died without ever having the chance to see the world.

The torment started when she and her husband moved into a rented home in south Surabaya in 1996, around the time when her husband got a new job as a construction worker.

The couple formed a good relationship with their neighbors, including Nana, not her real name.

"When I wasn't home, Nana would come to my house and ask my husband to take her out. Other neighbors gossiped about it," she told The Jakarta Post. "When I approached him about it, we ended up having a fight."

Her husband began to change and started beating her, even over small things. "I remember he first hit me when I asked for money to buy groceries."

The abuse continued, even when she was pregnant with her second child. When she was eight months pregnant, she suffered a miscarriage. "I went to have a routine ultrasound and they found that the baby had died," said Maryati, breaking into tears.

Following the miscarriage, the abuse continued. She was regularly beaten, kicked and raped, and she was soon pregnant again. She gave birth to a baby boy in mid-1997.

The next year, her husband left her for Nana, taking with him their valuables, including a television and jewelry.

Now a single mother with two children, Maryati has not given up hope. She does what she can to earn money, while receiving assistance from her neighbors and Savy Amira, a non-government organization that assists women.

"I once worked in a printing company but I was fired. Now I do other people's laundry," she said. She shared her story in a recent discussion at the French Cultural Center.

In the discussion, "Breaking the Chain of Violence", psychologist Pinky Saptandari blamed misperceptions about men and women for the abuse inflicted on women within the community.

She said that women are considered beautiful, weak creatures that should protect their dignity, while men are considered strong and brave. "Bravery sometimes mistakenly causes abuse toward women," said Pinky, an expert staff member at the State Ministry for Women's Empowerment.

In society, perceptions become much more misleading - men are considered to have more rights to education and employment, while women are expected to remain in the house, caring for children and obeying their husbands.

"This situation makes women vulnerable to abuse. The violence and abuse that women suffer mostly takes place inside the home," Pinky said.

The National Commission on Violence Against Women disclosed in a report in March this year that the number of cases of violence against women in 2006 reached 22,512, up from the 20,391 in 2005 and 14,020 cases in 2004. In 2003, only 7,787 cases were reported.

The commission's chief Kamala Chandrakirana said that as in previous years, domestic violence continues to be a huge problem.

Pinky said that often there are barriers that make solving cases of domestic violence difficult. These barriers include a social attitude that regularly blames women for domestic violence and customs which find it improper to discuss domestic affairs in public.

"In the end, women just accept what happens to them. This must change," Pinky said.

She said women were at particular risk in disadvantaged regions such as East Nusa Tenggara, Ambon, Papua and Poso in Central Sulawesi.

Pinky blamed this on inadequate education and ongoing social conflicts within the regions, as well as misleading local customs.

However, she found no systematic solution to cut the chains of abuse. The State Ministry for Women's Empowerment, for instance, does not have the technical support to implement its programs and needs the support of other ministries.

"But other ministries are busy with their own programs. Unfortunately, the program to support women's empowerment cannot proceed as expected," she said.