A growing
number of people are turning to atheism in Indonesia
The members
of Indonesian Atheist Parents come together to answer a simple question: How do
you survive as an atheist parent in a country where such a stance is considered
blasphemous?
In a place
where a hint of holding an unpopular opinion — about God, no less — can land a
person in jail, or at the very least make someone a social outcast, it can
often feel like raising a child to think differently is impossible for both
child and parent.
For too
many, the social and administrative challenges will be too much. Seemingly
trivial tasks such as filling out forms, visiting family and chitchat around
the table become a burden wrought with personal ramifications.
Simply put,
is the effort worth the trouble?
The
Indonesian Atheist Parents Facebook community was established in April. As an
outgrowth of Indonesia’s increasingly vocal atheist movement — showcased most
visibly by Karl Karnadi’s Indonesian Atheist group — the group’s specific focus
has garnered it followers with a dedicated interest toward what its founders
tags as “parenting beyond belief.”
The group’s
70-plus members discuss topics ranging from specifically atheist issues (“What
schools are secular?”; “What do you do when a relative asks the children about
their religious studies?”; “How do you survive religious holiday gatherings?”)
to more general ones about sex education, home-schooling and holiday
destinations.
A.F.
Simanjuntak, who agreed to speak only under his initials and clan name, founded
the Indonesian Atheist Parents group. His clan name indicates that A.F. is
Batak, a North Sumatran ethnicity that in general, holds strong Protestant
values. He also comes from a military family, prompting him to joke that
elements of his background are “not exactly a good combination” for him to be
able to express progressive beliefs.
Along with
his wife, A.F. hides his non-religiosity from their families, an understandable
survival mechanism for the majority of Indonesian atheists.
The
familial pressures of endless religious rituals — as well as the general
outlook of a strongly religious family — became even more of a challenge when
A.F. and his wife had children.
The
Protestant religious rite Peneguhan Sidi (Sidi Confirmation), practiced as
children enter their early teens, is of particular concern for the couple.
“We don’t
particularly want our two children (boys in grades four and six) to partake in
those rituals, but at the same time, it is a social process [in Indonesia] that
is part of the child’s life,” A.F. said.
Announcing
that their children will not undergo such rituals is likely to provoke family
and friends, and has the potential to lead to alienation.
It could
also deny their children a sense of shared experience with their peers.
“The
biggest challenge is in encouraging the children’s character-building away from
religious dogmas that surround them,” A.F. said. “Don’t get me wrong, we are
not molding our kids into atheists — they are free to choose their own path,
even as persons who believe in God — but they should be critical, free, and
responsible.”
A.F.’s wife
— who would only speak anonymously — said the children’s challenge as
freethinkers is in making peace with themselves if they choose to continue
living in the country.
“With the
advantages they have [of not being subscribed into any religious dogma], our
children could slip into being persons filled with hatred,” she said.
“Our task
now as parents is to show them that people who believe in God can live next to
someone who doesn’t; someone who is ‘smart’ can live along with someone who may
not particularly be so, and so on. It is important for them to know that being
able to survive in a society is much more important than basing their lives on
a sense of narrow idealism.”
Group
member Cherrie Petrissa, who lives in the Netherlands with her German husband,
said being an atheist parent does have its drawbacks in terms of relationships,
which she has come to terms with.
“I was
raised in a mixed-faith family myself, with a Muslim father and a Catholic
mother,” she said.
“My father
is not a practicing Muslim, but my mother deals with me being an atheist
raising an atheist child by being in denial. She keeps thinking that deep in my
heart we’re all still believers. I let her have her peace that way.”
Another
group member, a political journalist who only wishes to be identified as T.R.,
says he and his wife (who is not an atheist but a “very, very liberal Muslim”)
have made peace with how much of their child’s life will be surrounded by
religious beliefs. T.R. still commits to Muslim praying practices sometimes for
the sake of familial “togetherness.”
“[My wife
and I] think that shielding our daughter from religion will actually make her
susceptible toward it, and vice versa,” he said.
T.R.’s only
daughter, who is now in elementary school, goes to a “dangerously” religious
school because of a lack of alternatives. But T.R. considers what matters most
is the example that he and his wife set at home.
“If her
home is filled with rational thinking, [her school and home life] creates a
good balance,” T.R. said.
T.R. has
little trepidation about how his daughter will cope in what he calls an
“increasingly Muslim Indonesia.”
“The
substance of [my daughter’s] generation of irreligious, rational thinkers will
be the ones battling against [fundamentalists], and they will be prepared,” he
said.
Both A.F.
and T.R. accept that their children will have to live their lives — at least on
paper — as religious believers. Their citizen ID card notes their religion
(“Hers states Muslim, but does that really mean anything?” T.R. said of his
daughter) and they both go to schools where religious studies are compulsory.
For A.F.,
religion benefits his children at least in familiarizing them with their ethnic
roots. He said it was important for his family to be able to live a normal life
despite their beliefs, or lack thereof.
His wife
said it was important to prepare their children to be flexible in their
idealism in order to survive.
She
explained that although there “might be some great, achievable things without
the presence of religion, [we’ve] gotten used to just see, take, and process
the best out of all the bad things that exist in this life.”
For T.R.,
being a parent without the baggage of religion results in “a child who is
stronger and not a crybaby, because she would not have to be dependent on
something outside herself that is abstract and never concretely debated.”
He added:
“There is nothing sadder than seeing an 8- or 9-year-old explain everything
using ‘by the grace of god,’ showcasing a formed weakness of a mind that should
be thinking about things without any limits.”
Facebook
group (closed membership) Indonesian Atheist Parents.
“. New Tolerance
Related Article:
"The Recalibration of Awareness – Apr 20/21, 2012 (Kryon channeled by Lee Carroll) (Subjects: Old Energy, Recalibration Lectures, God / Creator, Religions/Spiritual systems (Catholic Church, Priests/Nun’s, Worship, John Paul Pope, Women in the Church otherwise church will go, Current Pope won’t do it), Middle East, Jews, Governments will change (Internet, Media, Democracies, Dictators, North Korea, Nations voted at once), Integrity (Businesses, Tobacco Companies, Bankers/ Financial Institutes, Pharmaceutical company to collapse), Illuminati (Started in Greece, with Shipping, Financial markets, Stock markets, Pharmaceutical money (fund to build Africa, to develop)), Shift of Human Consciousness, (Old) Souls, Women, Masters to/already come back, Global Unity.... etc.) - (Text version)
“… Hearing
the Whole Song
I wish to
give you a metaphor. Consider there's a broadcast station that you wish to tune
into on your radio to hear a song that is playing. However, your antennas are
very short. The signal comes and goes, and you don't really get to hear the
full tune. Instead, you get snippets, just enough to know there is something
there, and it's a song. Because of this incomplete message, you feel the need
to trust others to tell you what the snippets mean and interpret the song. Now,
in this metaphor, the antennas are the sensors picking up awareness of
spiritual truth, a higher consciousness and the way things work.
Suddenly,
you are aware that in this new energy, your antennas are getting longer, and
you are beginning to hear much more of the entire signal. You no longer have
snippets, but instead you are hearing the whole song! You now hear the entire
thing, including the lyrics. But it's difficult to then turn to a Human Being
who has interpreted the snippets in the past and tell them the song is
different from the one they have been reporting on for ages.
This new
awareness is starting to change the entire planet, and some of the changes are
not all spiritual. Even though the antennas are about awareness, it becomes
awareness of many principles, not just the ones about the attributes of God.
This awareness shift will even change an atheist who would never believe in
God. So let me itemize for you some of the changes that are potentially in
store for you. For, as spiritual awareness starts to shift on the planet,
systems awareness will also shift. More than systems, but the actual ways of
creating systems and the reasons you used to create them will shift. Awareness
changes everything.
If you can
hear the song and you know what it tells you through the lyrics, then you are
complete. It explains why today there are those in the chairs [seminar
attendees] who don't need a building and don't need a leader or an
organization. Although this is a metaphor, I'll tell you, dear ones, that all
over the world you're singing the same tune and you don't need anybody to tell
you what it sounds like or what the lyrics are. The song is beautiful and it is
sung about the love of God, respect for humanity and the potential for peace on
Earth. ..”
“. New Tolerance
Look for a softening of finger pointing and an awakening of new tolerance. There will remain many systems for different cultures, as traditions and history are important to sustaining the integrity of culture. So there are many in the Middle East who would follow the prophet and they will continue, but with an increase of awareness. It will be the increase of awareness of what the prophet really wanted all along - unity and tolerance. The angel in the cave instructed him to "unify the tribes and give them the God of Israel." You're going to start seeing a softening of intolerance and the beginning of a new way of being.
Eventually, this will create an acknowledgement that says, "You may not believe the way we believe, but we honor you and your God. We honor our prophet and we will love you according to his teachings. We don't have to agree in order to love." How would you like that? The earth is not going to turn into one belief system. It never will, for Humans don't do that. There must be variety, and there must be the beauty of cultural differences. But the systems will slowly update themselves with increased awareness of the truth of a new kind of balance. So that's the first thing. Watch for these changes, dear ones. ...."
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